Sunday, August 15, 2010

Count the Thrusts (what I learned from This Film Is Not Yet Rated)

-The MPAA was established in 1922 to help parents discern what might be appropriate for their children to see, without the government having to resort to censorship.

-This system worked without question five minutes.

-Because now the MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America, which I totally did a report on in eighth grade) could censor films, under the guise of 'suggestions for resubmission'.

-Most theatres and DVD rental places will not carry anything rated NC-17, which is basically all the cool stuff/gay stuff/female orgasm stuff.

-This, as it turns out, is the vast majority of anything made in the 21st century.

-How many thrusts are involved in a sex scene is the difference between a safe-for-public-advertisement R rating and a Direct-to-DVD-late-night-TV-spot NC-17 rating.

-NC-17, in case you didn't know, used to be an X rating.

-Gay sex scenes are treated much more harshly than straight sex scenes, which, y'know, duh.

-Among the many split-screen examples of this, they show a clip of Mysterious Skin. Also, Colin Firth trying to get some Bacon action in Where The Truth Lies.

-Lady Pubic Hair is a no-no, especially if it's Maria Bello's Pubic Hair.

-Before this movie, nobody knew who the rating board was.

-Now they do.

-Most of them are 40-something married parents of two. One of them has served 9 years on the board, rather than the supposed 5-year limit.

-Both the head of the appeals board and that lady's lawyer are persnickity.

-This film really is not rated, but before it was, it had an NC-17, because they showed clips of movies that got those movies their NC-17 rating. I love irony.